Feb
16
On Allyn’s Mysterious Bruise
February 16, 2009 by Allyn · 5 Comments
The facts are these.
- I have a bruise on my right hand.
- The bruise is on the back of the hand.
- The bruise is situated roughly adjacent to my right thumb and my wrist.
- The bruise measures 1 1/2-inches in diameter.
- The bruise is a deep purple.
- The bruise hurts like a motherfucker.
If you have any information on the cause or purpose of said bruise, please let the management know.
A mysterious, unexplained bruise is not a good bruise.
Especially one that hurts like this one!
I think I’ve coined another new word, neologism-thingie.
“Watchmania.”
Use it in everyday conversation! 
ETA: Under natural light, rather than the fluorescents at work, the bruise turned out to be minor. Certainly not as dark as it had appeared at first. Most curious.
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Allyn Gibson has written Star Trek short fiction, such as the groundbreaking "Make-Believe" in Star Trek: Constellations (2006) and the mind-blowing Doctor Who short story, "The Spindle of Necessity" in Short Trips: The Quality of Leadership (2008). He is also the writer for a monthly catalog where he gets to indulge himself in comics and pop culture. After hours, he writes fiction, non-fiction, and weird ramblings on his blog about whatever is on his mind. Now a Baltimorean, Allyn roots long-distance for two long-suffering sports teams: the Chicago Cubs and Hibernian FC; closer to home he roots for the "First in war, first in peace, last in the National League" Washington Nationals, because the Nats need all the help (and all the fans) they can get.
Sound like you may have bitch-slapped someone recently, hurting your hand on their teeth. Ring any bells?
The facts are these.
Allyn was twenty-one* years, seven months and three days old when he awoke one morning to find a bruise on his hand.
A bruise, he mused, suggested the previous night had not been bland.
*adjust as appropriate.
Okay, then…
The facts are these. Allyn was thirty-five years, eight months, and six days old when he found himself standing in the doorway to Lance Woods’ office at the [Redacted] headquarters, marvelling at the large, purple bruise that had appeared mysteriously upon the back of his hand. He prodded at the bruise gently, his hand reeling backward from the sudden pain, and he asked aloud, “Wherever did this bruise come from?”
However, I don’t think Ned the Pie-man and his true love Chuck can help me solve the mystery of the bruise. Emerson Cod, however…
And while his previous night was, in fact, bland, as Allyn had gone to bed shortly past eight o’clock, his weekend at Farpoint having taken both a physical and mental toll, the night previous to that had been anything but.
Yes, Allyn had been at a science-fiction convention.